As the days grow shorter and sunlight fades, many of us feel our energy, mood, and motivation dip. The lack of light, the chill in the air, and the long hours indoors can leave us feeling sluggish, disconnected, and blue. But in Sweden, a country that faces some of the darkest winters on Earth, people have learned not just to survive the season, but to thrive in it.
Their secret? Two simple yet powerful principles: Lagom and Mys.
Lagom: The Power of Balance
Lagom (pronounced “lah-gom”) translates roughly to “just the right amount.” It’s about balance and finding the sweet spot between too much and too little. It can be applied to work and rest, activity and stillness. Rather than swinging between burnout and stagnation, Swedes strive for equilibrium in all aspects of life.
In practice, Lagom might look like setting realistic expectations for yourself during the winter months. It’s choosing to honor your body’s slower rhythm, recognizing that you don’t have to be in constant motion to be productive. Maybe it’s leaving work on time instead of staying late, taking a walk outside even when it’s cold, or allowing yourself to enjoy comfort foods without guilt.
This philosophy challenges the “all or nothing” mindset that often fuels stress and exhaustion. Instead of pushing through winter at full speed, Lagom invites us to slow down, prioritize what truly matters, and make intentional space for rest, reflection, and connection.
Mys: The Art of Cozy Togetherness
If Lagom is about balance, Mys (pronounced “mees”) is about atmosphere. It’s the Swedish art of cozy, comforting togetherness time, and a feeling that can’t be bought, but can be cultivated through intention.
Mys is the soft glow of candlelight on a dark evening, the smell of cinnamon buns baking in the oven, or the sound of a fire crackling while you share a quiet conversation with someone you love. It’s less about extravagance and more about presence. Even simple rituals like sipping on hot chocolate, coffee, or Swedish glögg under a blanket, reading a favorite book, or listening to music as snow falls outside, can bring warmth and meaning to the darker months.
While many cultures chase excitement or constant stimulation to stay happy, the Swedish approach is gentler. It encourages us to lean into stillness, to find comfort in the small things, and to nurture relationships. Mys turns ordinary moments into anchors of contentment.
Bringing Lagom and Mys Into Your Own Life
You don’t need to be born a Swede to live like one. Here are a few simple ways to bring the joy of Lagom and Mys into your life.
- Create light intentionally. Use warm lighting, candles, or string lights to soften your home and counteract the darkness.
- Simplify your schedule. Say no to unnecessary commitments and yes to what genuinely nourishes you.
- Get outside daily. Even a few minutes of natural light can boost your mood and regulate your circadian rhythm.
- Build cozy rituals. Have a nightly cup of tea, light a candle during dinner, or cozy up under a blanket to watch your favorite show.
- Connect meaningfully. Plan small gatherings, game nights, or dinners with friends and family. Togetherness is a powerful antidote to loneliness.
Finding Joy in the Calm
Together, Lagom and Mys transform winter from something to endure into something to enjoy. They remind us that happiness doesn’t depend on endless sunshine or perfect circumstances. It grows from balance, gratitude, and presence.
This season, take a cue from the Swedes: light a candle, slow down, and find joy in just enough. The secret to easing seasonal depression might not be in chasing the light, but in learning to make peace with the dark.
To learn more about lagom, check out my book Swedish Lagom, your guide to living a well-balanced life, filled with happiness, joy, and positivity.
Kortney Yasenka, LCMHC, is a licensed clinical mental health counselor who provides individual, family, and group therapy, as well as life coaching services. She is certified in trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy and has experience working with veterans and active military personnel. She has a Masters in Counseling Psychology with a concentration in Health Psychology from Northeastern University. With over 15 years of experience, Kortney has worked in community mental health, school systems, and private practice while specializing in mood disorders, school and work related issues, life transitions, and self-esteem. Kortney is the co-author of The Stoicism Book of Quotes and wrote the foreword to The Resilient Warrior. Her newest book which she co-writes with her mom is Swedish Lagom.
