As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of the book, Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Teenager Cope with Worry, I am frequently asked about the relationship between adolescent anxiety and current social media use. While it is near impossible to disregard the impact of social media on teen mental health, I do not recommend prohibiting or restricting a teen’s social media usage. Instead, I advise adhering to the following five steps in shifting a teenager’s relationship with social media:
Step 1: Be Knowledgeable
Many parents are unaware and intimidated by the world of teen social media use. Most parents of teenagers today did not experience social media in their own adolescence. It is understandable for these parents to feel disconnected from their teen’s relationship with social media. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to research what social media looks like for teens today. Stay up to date on current popular social media platforms, pages, influencers and figures for teenagers. Furthermore, explore who and what your teenager follows on social media, and consider the possible ways it can influence their mental health. Understanding these concepts can help facilitate an effective conversation with your teenager.
Step 2: Engage in a Conversation
Learning the facts about social media and teen anxiety can be alarming. However, it is essential to speak with your teenager about social media. Instead of immediately insisting your teen modify their social media use, engage in a conversation. Ask open-ended, two sided questions with the purpose of seeking to learn and understand. How does your teen feel when they view certain pages? What would it feel like for your teen to limit their time on social media? Maintain an empathetic approach, without judgement and the need to provide solutions. If your teenager is resistant, or not open to a conversation at the current time, it is okay to revisit, and not force a dialogue.
Step 3: Explore Ways to Modify
In establishing an open, communicative conversation with your teen, examine ways to modify their relationship with social media. Remember, it is imperative you and your teen collaborate on this shift together, rather than you deciding for them. Ask your teen their thoughts on utilizing the mute, restrict, block or unfollow buttons on certain social media pages. Gauge your teenager’s feelings on trying this approach for a certain amount of time, and modifying again if needed.
Step 4: Maintain an Openness
While there are many dialogues surrounding the dangers of social media, and its negative impacts, not all social media platforms and pages can be bad. In fact, many social media accounts are run by qualified therapists, coaches and provide inspiring communities for their followers. As your teen removes, mutes and restricts certain pages, assess their thoughts on following new, different pages. Explore their feelings on following pages related to their hobbies, interests, as well as accounts that elicit feelings of positivity.
Step 5: Practice Patience
A teen’s relationship with social media use will change over time. A teen might not be open to your ideas, suggestions or even a conversation at first. Do your best not to be discouraged, and remember that even a starter conversation can be positive. Unless an emergency exception (Ie: a teen is in danger, engaged in illegal activity, substance use, self-harm or suicidality), do not demand, force or control your teen. Instead, seek to have patience while your teen shifts their social media use.
For more information surrounding shifting social media use, ways to engage in effective conversations and tools for regulating teen anxiety, please check out my book, Calming Teenage Anxiety or visit my website.
SOPHIA VALE GALANO is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, with a private practice in Los Angeles, CA catering to adults and teenagers. She has extensive experience working as a therapist in residential, inpatient, outpatient, medical and educational settings for both adolescents and adults. In conjunction with running a private practice, Sophia is also a high school counselor and clinical supervisor to associate therapists. She frequently writes for Elephant Journal and Medium, and is published on Your Teen Media. Sophia is also a subject matter expert for Hollywood, Health and Society, ensuring accuracy in addiction related story lines in television and film. She is the author of Calming Teenage Anxiety. For more information, visit sophiagalano.com.
