The parent scrolling at the playground
My “aha-moment” that started my journey into the digital well-being field occurred in 2018 at a playground. I was crawling around at ground-level with my kids when another child started crying. I look up to look for the parent, but all I see is the backside of a bunch of smartphones, the users scrolling away without noticing the child. To get this perspective of what adults engrossed on their phones look like to kids sparked something in me. I started being very mindful of my own tech-use around the kids, and subsequently started educating myself, partaking in research projects, the Phone Free Day initiative, presentations and interviews, and then writing the book Tech-Life Balance.
8 years after the event at the playground, a lot has changed with big tech and the world, and also with my own habits which I will share here.
Tech-free time, regular breaks, limiting social media, and turning off notifications
I love being without my phone.
Any chance I get, I leave it at home. It has led to friction with my wife, so now I try to remember to tell her when I go out without it. It is a special feeling of freedom, not having to worry about using it myself, nor being reachable. Most of us don´t need to be available 24/7. I intentionally take tech-free time daily, and every couple of weeks I have a fully screen-free day. The effect is magic.
I have all notifications on my phone on silent except for if someone calls me. Do I miss out on replying in time to messages? Yes, most certainly! But when I do, I inform the sender that next time they have a time-sensitive message for me, give me a call instead!
As for social media, I use LinkedIn and Instagram mainly for professional reasons, and Facebook mainly for the marketplace function. I notice that I get sucked in when I open them and need to be very strict to only do what I intend on doing. I have used so called “feed blockers” but don´t at the moment. I can also use Instagram for pure entertainment but in those cases I limit the time, and I am very conscious of when I do it
If I am not watching a full movie, I try never to spend more than 30 minutes looking at a screen before taking a one or two minute break (good for health and productivity!)
I have my phone on grey scale almost all the time, and limit my usage before going to bed and after waking up.
When I am out and about, on the bus or train, in stores, our walking, I keep my phone away and look up to meet people´s eyes. This has been very interesting as I get into conversations with strangers on a daily basis, exchange a smile or a greeting, or even make new connections that I have kept in contact with.
The effects have been: lowered stress, improved sleep, improved focus, interesting new relationships, and overall a feeling of presence and wellbeing.
Stuck in multitasking, and calls around the kids
Even writing this article I have had to rein in my attention several times instead of leaving it half done and doing something else. I struggle focusing on one task at a time and find myself drawn to the dopamine kick of doing a little bit here, a little bit there. I often have 10-20 tabs open with half finished tasks or things that I want to get done.
I also get urgent work calls that I “need” to take when I am with the kids. I explain to them what it is about and try to handle it without too much effect on them, but it is not ideal.
I work on improving, but no, I am not perfect!
If you want to try some habits for digital well-being
Here are 5 ways you can start with similar habits that I have
- Keep the phone out of sight, you can still have the sound on
- Take regular breaks from screens. (tips: set a timer!)
- Decide when and where you want to use tech, and where you want to just be present
- Manage notifications on your phone, which do you really need?
- Design some fully tech-free time, it can be with friends or family, or on your own. It can be as simple as a five minute walk around the block, or why not a phone-free dinner
Everything starts with awareness and intention. Think about which situations that tech affects you in a negative way, and what you want to get out of changing habits. The effects are real with everything from lowered stress.
I’m sharing regularly on the topic of how technology is impacting our lives and how to find a better balance. Check out this earlier post for a great place to start your journey towards tech-life balance as well as my book Tech-Life Balance: 101 Ways to Thrive in a Digital World.
Taíno Bendz is the founder of Phone Free Day and his own consulting business, and his message on mindful and intentional technology usage has reached and inspired hundreds of thousands of people around the world. He is a public speaker, workshop facilitator, and conducts research on digital technology usage. Taíno holds a Master’s Degree in Industrial Engineering and Management and has spent the last 10 years working in technology sectors such as renewable energy, healthcare IT, and software automation. He currently lives in Sweden with his family. He is the author of Tech-Life Balance.
