The Pace of Modern Life
I spent last weekend in a big city and was, as always, struck with the higher pace (it literally seems like there is a high correlation between population and pedestrian walking speed!). What I was not prepared for, however, was the lack of human interaction.
Now, it’s not like I live in the countryside where everyone knows each other. I live in a city of a decent size too. But the difference was striking. I arrived by train, and thinking back, I am pretty sure I was not able to make eye contact with a single person until I reached the hotel and checked in with the receptionist.
It scares me sitting on a subway with 500 other people in complete silence with everyone staring at their screens; it scares me grocery shopping with 100 other people who all stare down or behind me, squeezing past instead of saying “excuse me”; it scares me seeing parents with in-ear headphones pick up their kids at school while in a meeting.
When Connection Fades
I get that we are busy, we are on the go somewhere, we’re tired, maybe overworked — but it still scares me. Because this isn’t just about politeness or small talk. It’s about something deeper. Something at the core of what it is to be human: connection.
When we stop making eye contact, when we no longer exchange smiles or nods, or acknowledge another person’s presence, I think that something important is lost.
The Importance of Small Human Moments
Before the era of ubiquitous connectivity and the ever-presence of screens, we used to have small, spontaneous moments with strangers. Research suggests that these small interactions mean something — that they actually make us both happier and healthier.
- A chat with a stranger on the bus.
- A friendly joke with the cashier.
- A compliment on someone’s dog.
These moments might seem insignificant, but they add up, and they are part of what it means to be human.
Digital Interactions vs. Real Presence
And yes, one could argue that the digital interactions we have are also part of what it is to be human. But I still feel that if we are always somewhere else through the screen, then we are never really there.
Never really experiencing what is in front of us in this very moment — even if it is just a black tunnel in the subway system. Notifications, messages, and “likes” give us an illusion of connection without the warmth of it.
Choosing Presence: A Simple Digital Detox
What would happen if we started looking up instead of down a little more often? If we smiled at the person next to us on the train instead of scrolling through another feed? If we chose to be present rather than merely digitally connected?
With all the uncertainty and change in the world, this is something we all can do — both for our own health and well-being, and that of others.
If you want to know more, check out this earlier post for a great place to start your journey towards tech-life balance as well as my book Tech-Life Balance: 101 Ways to Thrive in a Digital World.
Taíno Bendz is the founder of Phone Free Day and his own consulting business, and his message on mindful and intentional technology usage has reached and inspired hundreds of thousands of people around the world. He is a public speaker, workshop facilitator, and conducts research on digital technology usage. Taíno holds a Master’s Degree in Industrial Engineering and Management and has spent the last 10 years working in technology sectors such as renewable energy, healthcare IT, and software automation. He currently lives in Sweden with his family. He is the author of Tech-Life Balance.
